Wednesday, November 23, 2011

All Rock - No Star


So there I was along with the brainy one, waiting outside the cinema for the rest of the gang to come. We were three and half couples and related through the wives (Three couples and a bachelorette actually). This was the first time we were all out together, so there was a fair bit of excitement in the air. Welcoming new people into the family and all that you know. But I guess the excitement was more because of the movie we were waiting to watch. Rockstar. The latest hyped-up "blockbuster" churned out by the "blockbuster" making machine called Bollywood.

I am perpetually perplexed at how these movies are accorded "blockbuster" status? I wonder if the censor board is handing them out along with their audience suitability certificates. Or maybe there is some secret place where the producer can walk in, flaunt his collection of filled-to-the-brim-with-currency VIP Skybags and walk out with a "blockbuster" certificate for his movie. Whatever be the case, every other Bollywood movie hitting the screens these days is being touted as a BB. And so is the case with this movie as well. Anyway, my distaste for over-hyped movies aside, I was looking forward to a fun evening with the rest of the group. And on that count, the evening definitely delivered. The movie, sadly, didn't.

I don't look for intellect in a movie. Far from it. But I do expect the movie to atleast be logical in the most basic ways. For example, I can understand the portrayal of an Indian rock star who sings only in Hindi packing the joint where ever he performs in India. But it crosses over into the 'indigestion inducing' realm when the protagonist is shown doing the same in countries like Italy and the Czech republic. And not just in some small intimate setting either. No sir, his concert is shown packing an entire stadium!! From the beginning till the end, the movie is full of such inanity. 
  • The music company is said to be taking 4 artists to Prague. But only our Rockstar is shown performing. That is completely fine but singing along with street performers on the streets of Prague in hindi??
  • This hindi-only "Rock star" is instantly recognized by the common man on the street in the foreign country he is about to perform (Check the shot on the bus where the grandmother's face lights up when she recognizes the guy sitting in front of her)
  • In college, the heroine is termed "The heart-breaking machine". And yet this is the same girl who, for no rhyme or reason, comes up to the decidedly goofy hero and reveals her "Junglee Jawani" side to him. How come?
  • The opening shot has our hero trading fists with a bunch of policemen in a foreign land even as his entourage is preparing for his upcoming concert in the stadium. Why did he pick up a fight with the cops? No idea. How come the cops let him be after he assaults them and takes off for his concert? No idea.
  • The rock star is supposed to be a casanova and a rebel. Where is the womanizing and where is the rebellion? All we get to see is him dressed in a hybridized "pathan" costume and fighting with cops.
  • He flips the bird at a crowd. Only reason why he does it is because he had told us in a previous scene that when Jim Morrison did it, it was cool.

I could go on but I don't feel like putting myself through it again. I guess you get the drift.

As for the acting, I wouldn't be able to tell a bad actor from a good one. But I can definitely tell when someone is not acting and that was definitely what the female lead in the movie was doing. Pretty face and nothing else. The shots focusing on her face in the beginning of the movie were what provided some of the funny moments in the movie for me. My advice to her - "Don't give up your day job. Ever". The male lead is confusing. In the first part of the movie, where he is still a student struggling to make it big as a Rocker, he comes across as this guy who is confused by the fact that his singing fate hasn't changed in the way it is supposed to. In the second half, he is full of...confusion. We are supposed to understand that it is angst and fury but to me it looked like he was still confused. Though it has to be said that he was atleast trying to bring out the correct emotions. I really don't remember anyother character so nothing to tell about them.

There is a scene towards the end where the lady is in a coma and the guy goes in to see if he can revive her. It is one of those scenes which is unintentionally representative of the movie as it is. A few good scenes trying desperately to prop up a comatose movie.

6 comments:

Sakina Adeeb said...

Very well written, I wish I could write English like you :P.

So you think a Hindi Rockstar packing stadiums in Italy is illogical but an entire Tamil Cinema doing a show in London with a stadium full of people is logical??

Btw - you were clearly sleeping in the movie when you ask on your blog: "the opening shot has our hero trading fists with a bunch of policemen in a foreign land even as his entourage is preparing for his upcoming concert in the stadium. Why did he pick up a fight with the cops? No idea. How come the cops let him be after he assaults them and takes off for his concert? No idea." - in one of the closing shots they show how he picked up their food from the restaurant and got beaten up. See you don't remember that scene do you?

"I don't look for intellect in a movie. Far from it. But I do expect the movie to atleast be logical in the most basic ways" - Can you please explain which part of your favorite movies Transformers 1, 2 and 3 or even Harry potter is logical to you?

Rest of the argument at home :P

VIshnu said...

Thanks for appreciating the English though I am sure I can be much better.

Now lets start dismantling your defense, shall we!? :)
1. Which Tamil Cinema are you referring to? And why that reference in the first place? Did I say somewhere that some Tamil Cinema was good/great/mind-blowing or some such thing?

2. Yes, I remember that scene towards the end that you are talking about. I just looked like he picked up a quarrel and not food. So my apologies for not understanding it. :) But please do tell why he was let go? You mean to say he is famous enuff to be recognized by a grand mother but the cops of the city don't know who he is or where to find him, so they let him go scott-free? After he assaults them? Right, I want to be in that country too. :)

3. Transformers, HP et al fall under the category called fantasy/science fiction. I rest my case

Sakina Adeeb said...

so all you enjoy is "fantasy/science fiction" :) I rest my case:P

Sakina Adeeb said...

And for point 2 - you seem to prove again and again and again that u were sleeping from start to beginning of the movie. The old lady recognized him only after seeing his face and spotting the posters/banners on the streets. - i rest my case (again)

VIshnu said...

Hahaha. You are trying so hard to "Rest your case" that you had to do it twice!!! I will do my bit and let it rest.

PS - Doesn't mean you are right though. ;)

Sakina Adeeb said...

i had to do it twice cos your blog allows me to type everything on the comments box, and while submitting asks me to re-enter everything all over again...:P

Btw - who cares who is right, as long as the argument goes on :P